The Man I Have To Be
by My one true love
Summary: Noah Puckerman: badass. So why the hell is he standing outside of the doctor's office tearing up like some flipping pansy ass girl?


**A/N: **Okay so this story is about Puck and his finally coming to terms with what it will mean to be a father. I got the idea from the song "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed. You will find some of the lyrics sprinkled throughout the story but just the ones that I felt were important. I do not own the song or any of the Glee characters (sadly, this means I do not own Puck as much as I would love that. Lol). Also, please check out my new co-written Glee story "Things Unsaid" over here:

www. fanfiction. net /s/5893236/1/

Just make sure to remove the spaces!! It is a future fic that involves Finn, Puck, Quinn & Rachel. I don't want to give too much away so please head over there and read it. We're super excited about it and we'd love for more people to get hooked – I mean to read it. Now onto the story. Enjoy.

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_We stand in awe, we've created life._

Staring at the monitor a feeling of awe overcame him. That was _his _baby girl. It hadn't seemed real even as he'd watched Quinn's body change the further along she went into her pregnancy. And he'd even been jackass enough to tell her that he didn't dig on fat chicks. Really, what in the hell had he been thinking? It wasn't often that he regretted what he said, what he did but that was one thing he definitely regretted in that moment.

He looked at Quinn, her eyes questioning as they met his. He just shook his head. He couldn't speak; there were no words for what he was feeling at that moment. His thoughts were moving a million miles a minute and he couldn't seem to stop it.

_Well I don't know if I'm ready t__o be the man I have to be…_

God, was he ready for this? Fuck no he wasn't ready for this. He tore his eyes from Quinn to stare at the monitor again and once again he was filled with complete awe at the life he had formed with Quinn. The picture on the screen was proof of the most important thing that he would probably ever do – be a father.

That was his baby. He just couldn't keep himself from saying it over and over in his head. He knew that he shouldn't be shocked, but what the hell else was he supposed to feel when seeing her for the very first time?

Fuck. He had to get the hell out of that room and fast. He began to pull his hand from Quinn's, but she resisted, squeezing his hand with hers. He just shook his head, not meeting her eyes. He couldn't speak because he was so afraid that he would embarrass himself and lose it right there in front of her and the damn doctor.

_With arms wide open, under the sunlight._

_Welcome to this place,_

_I'll show you everything, with arms wide open…_

He threw open the door, walking blindly down the hall and out of the building. Staring up at the sun he could feel the emotions building up within him. Shit, this wasn't like him. He wasn't some pansy chick, he was Noah Puckerman: badass. But as he recalled the sight of his baby he felt his eyes fill.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the tears to go back from wherever the hell they'd come from. He glanced around blindly. He had to get somewhere, somewhere where no one could see him acting like a damn chick.

His truck. Perfect. He half ran to the truck, throwing open the door. He jumped in and laid his head on the steering wheel as the first tears ran down his cheek. He swiped his hands across his face. Damn it, why was he crying? It was just a baby.

But no, it wasn't just a baby was it? It was his damn baby. And he would protect her with everything that he had. He would keep her safe, love her. He'd teach her about everything that he knew, which honestly there wasn't much that he knew that would be child appropriate. Seriously, how in the hell was he going to be able to do this? Could he really change the way that he would need to in order to be a father?

He just knew that he was somehow going to mess this up, fuck up his own child. Because he was after all just a selfish jackass, right? And he couldn't change, he didn't want to change - or did he? How was a sixteen year old boy – no scratch that, he was a man (or at least he liked to think so) – supposed to handle something like this? This wasn't supposed to happen to him.

And he'd just abandoned Quinn, his girlfriend (Yeah, he couldn't get used to the idea that he had girlfriend. It was just too weird.) and baby mama, in the doctor's office. When was he going to get his shit together and stop thinking only about himself? Shit, he'd spent the last sixteen years only thinking about himself. How did one go about making that kind of change? It's not like he could just keep going on the way that he was, in just a few months he was going to have another person to worry about. And not just some person, a baby – his baby. (How many times was he going to point this out to himself? He was turning into such a loser.)

Shit, there was Quinn coming out of the doctor's office. He jumped out of the truck, helping her to get into the passenger seat. They didn't speak, but she squeezed his hand when he started to close the door. Meeting her eyes, he knew that she understood. Which, thank God, one of them understood because he sure didn't.

He tried to smile, but couldn't bring himself to do so. He shook his head, closing the door and walking around to climb into the truck. When he closed the door he didn't say anything, didn't move. They sat there in silence, both thinking about their baby girl. (Or at least he was, he couldn't be sure what Quinn was thinking. After all he wasn't a mind reader.)

…_to be the man I have to be…_

His life was going to change, whether he was ready for it or not. It was time for him to man up and be the father that he'd never had. For once in his life he was going to take something seriously. Shit, this was going to be hard.

Glancing over he saw that Quinn was looking at him, her face unreadable.

At least he had her, he wasn't in this alone. And maybe it was about time that he let her know that she wasn't in this alone either. He reached over, taking her hand into his and squeezing lightly. She must've understood because a smile lit up her face.

Maybe this growing up shit wouldn't be too bad. And if he ever started to wonder why he was doing it he just had to think of the baby girl that was growing inside of Quinn. Damn it, he was going to be a dad and he was going to make damn sure that he did it right.


End file.
